Thor's Great Adventure
by PepperonciniPepperoni
Summary: Thor and Nick go back in time to change the future. Little do they know, this could actually make the future even worse!
1. Chapter 1

A/N; this is part 2 of my series: Thor Gets Rabies. It was posted on mmy oroginal account; giselleawesome but i can't get on it? anyways this would be also posted on my dA which can be fund on my profikle :) Just incase yall haters be removering it.

Twas 1942 and lots of thangs were different. for one, red skull was a schmidt and he didn't have a ugly head yet. for two, nick fuzy and thor should not not have been born yet but they was hiding in the shadows washing all the soilders go by. Incase you are a nosie and didnt reead Thor Gets Rabies Nick n Thor are hiding bc they have go back in time to change stuff because alot of poop happenned that they are just not wanting to happen...i can't tell the whole story here.

"I don't see him!" Thor was already sick &amp; tirrd of looking for their captain

"PATIENCE is tha key homie" Nick has binoculars (he forgetted that in the past such thingys didnt exist) llol "Omg" some citizen said seeing the new invention. "SHit they think i crated thus?" Nick cooed and they ran down a alley way to get a way.

Thor n Nick run into t his gang that was kickin some puny kids butt and the guys were like "wat wat wanna fight" then they saw Nicks eye patch and got kinda scared and run they lold.

"omg thank you so much you savored me!" the puny tiny skinny pinny kid was happy patty lol "My names Stevey!"

Nick n Thor immediately start giggling like lil girls. "Oh hella naw doggg!" Nick's accent was foregn to the area code. But they look closer like close and see that it's captain america's head ontops of a scrawny 11 yr old boys body and he dont even have muscles. Thor puked and Nck laffed some more, Steve just felt like he'd been punkd.

But then then Erksitine the scienterst who experiemtns on guinea pigs come rollin up in his hyundai elantra 2014 car and was honking yelling "Steve boy! Yo can get that bright nose up in here and join the miliatary!"

"WOOOhoooo!" Steve was about to go with him but Thor and Nick were like f no we just did all this time travel! "I've got muscles fo you!" the science man called and they were both like ok wait yea go with him.

The three sat in the back of the car and Bill Neye was in the passager seat, " I really diddnt expect so minny ppl to come along" Erlstone admtittied.

Steve than realise he didnt even know these peeps and thought he was gonna be kidnaped becuz he is so small. "Um I relly don't know these ppl?" They pulled over and kicked Thor and Nick out and Steve got a restraint order and fuck this is just not suppose to be happen.

"Omfg wtf did we do wrong?!" Thor kick a hen and pouted holding his hammer to his chest like it was his baby Janey all along. He got a lil sad knowin he was a bad dad and that made his gears roll. "Isn't Red School in this time zone too?"

He was!

Red Skull was in that one german county that Hertler lived in and he was stoling the tessaract aka evil son of a bitchin crystal meth that caused all this fiction writing to begin with. He was drassed quiet niceley and looked human and like he did 300 yrs prior when he was a elf in lord of the rugs. Except he had shota hair. "God i am gonna be so poweefuL!" he cackled like a witch he was and got stoned with the tessaract. "Heinz I am powrful!" He texted a text to his friend Heiz Kruger and a selfie! :)

"Red Skull!" Thor shouted lookin manly he wasn't wearing a shirt so he could show his musclers off to Red Skall. Nick didn't have to show off bc he had a eye patch and dress in black lol

But Red Skull hasnt thought up his baddie name yet &amp; was still Joanie Shchimit "Ummmmmmm what that's not my name!" He was kinda jello bc the name sounded cool but he wanted to be uniquee "My names BURN skull!"

"Did we justa make him swap his name?" Thor whuspered and Nick was jsut as confuzzled but they used there phone to math his identity and it was him indeed "Enough fun and games! We kno you are gonna try to funk with Steve procedureder!"

Red/Burn SKull hadn t discusted his pans with anyone and was weirded out and assumed they were telephonic (able to read other ppls minds). "wtf" she said but then the wall fall down like it was a movie prompt which is probably is because this was a fictional movie and they use props. Thor and Nick were sweepin to get rid of all the dust and Johnie Schmidt the Burnt skull jump in the tank that nock the wall over "WHAHAHA fuck yall! I'm gonna go stomp the Captain before he gets sexier than a five star porn star!" He waved and they waved back until they realised...he was goging to kill STEVE!


	2. Chapter 2

A/N Sorry take so lonng! Been kinda buzy in rl lol now lets pray for stever...

It took Thor n Nick a lil longer than they thot to find the lab where where the Captain was and when they gets there it took them 2x as long to find the freakin lab cause they dont work there and dont have a map. "FREAKIN omg" Thor holla. "Chill down" Nicky said and they snuckered around trying not to look suspicies.

ahead was a door with the sign above it that said "plastic surgery!" and they went right on in cuz it sounded about right but it wasnt. It was a celebritty boob room and lots of famous girl celebs and some guys (weird) were getting boobie jobs. Thor's face went redder than a tumor.

"AhhhhH! That boy lookin at me!" Snuookei cry and they rushered past her all freiked out and but in the next room was steve laying on a stable and he had muscles that made their hearts beat quicker and good feelings rum thru their boties. "It's Steve!" Thor was happy

But then someone assaahssineted the guy who experumented on Steve which was kinda good bc we only need one guy with a butt like Steves. but they cried anyway to make it look sad and Steve was actual sad he was heroic too hhaa "I WILL KILL!" He scrambled and they captured that dude who work with Red Skull but who cares right? Just a backggrlnd carrot

"omfg y are you follow me?" Steve was no pussy now his muscles were bigger than their heads

"Ummm ok look we from the future and ur our captain chan" Thor was pushing the lyrics

"stfu stfu dog look he finds out too much our future will be f-u-c-ked" Steve was like huh and THor was like huh but Nick was like "LOOK I AM THE BOSS JUST STOP"

So they did

"OK Steve look U hafta go after that red skulld son of a batch and kill the fuck out of him idc how you do it, just effin do it, take that giggin space puddle he drivin and steer it into antartica like U mean it" Nikki said

"Wat if I diedidie" Stevve was warty

"GO!" Nick hollal like black ppl do when they are rappin...Steve was outtie

Once he left they attenddeed a party in his name and took the credit for him becumming mutated. Thor thouht it was kinda wrong but dick convince him they need the fame game for Sheils future.

The otter avengers werent allive yet or born or thout of yet but mr Howard Stork was there and he was so rich that his teeth were all gold. they kinda looked like a bunch of popcorn kernels lined purfuckly in two rows when he smoled. His wife was a live too bc they aren dead yet.

"Omg my hubbies mom and daddy" Thor chappy they were weirded out but he couldnt slop. "I am gonna marry yo son he is sho cute"

"THORRRRRRRRRRRRRRR" Nick tried to stAP Him but it was too late. Howard &amp; his gillie were havin second thouts bout havin a baby now lol and Howard was like "CHILD PERVEY!" And Thor was in tribbles so they ran away to portal...

Red Skill was changing his facebook name to Burt SKull and watering the tessaract to make it grow kinda like a house plant. He could nt wait to crash into america with it in his trunk of his airplane...for some raison...and a bomb.

"I am so poweeful!" He talk to himself bc he is lonely and they had killaped his only bestie.

He hopped in his air plane and hung his tessaract up and ripplled off his elrond face to reveal that chewed up hamburgler look. Stevey hump out and kick him in the gibblets and he was rollin on the floor crying why!

"How darth you kill innocent ppl and look so uggy in the fece!" Steve starred slappin him in the butt with his sheild and pausin ever now and then to pose heroicly for the camera

Red Skull was bitting his ankles like a chiheehua since he was lyin on the floor and say "U can;t win there will always be another like me! Maybe some1 with black ucky hair and favey color green with a staff w/ my tessie in it!"

"How U know" Steve ask

"I red the scripe hahahahahah" But Steve America stop his laffter by slapping his head off with his sheild...Red Skills was no more. He was so happy he almost forget he fly the plane

Captain America typed the corrdinated into his gps for ALaska and had phone sexes with Peggy relly quick and...


	3. Chapter 3

It was way later n history and way closer to the future when Nicky stopped the time boat. It was memoial day bc of heroism and a very important event was bout to take place. Howard was there dressed like a multibillion aire becuz he is one and whenever he smiled looked like his skelie was made of gold.

"OK Thor this was tha day that Howard test his weapors and Bruce save a kiddo from the nuke blast and get the green powers!" Nick made it sound so exisiting but Thor was like so not impressed. "OK OK I no the side effects kinda bad..." Nick was thanking bout the ship that Hulk crushed aparts to get to Loki "but we have to let this happens.

So they grabbed some lawn chairs and sat front row and Howard was next to Thor going "Do I no U? Do I? Do I" and Thor was like "STFU NO lol"

They wait the countdown but bomb didnt go off and Nick was like fuck no nigga, they change the past or somethan so he jumped up and was bout to rage like a gorilla and then the bomb go off and he fall on his face hahahaha.

As bomb go into building they sees Bruce push a kiddo outta the way and Nick play music played as he got zipper zapped into a mutation plant it goes like this 'But freedom... takes green! It's the green, it's the green, it's the green you need, And when I looked into your future it's the green that I see!' lolhahaha

Thor clapp

But not everone was celery and they look at the two like they were a pair of terrorist or maybe socks (something like doubles)

"FUCKIN omg I knew these ppl ok this pedobear hit on my unthought of baby boy Tony Raisin Puddy Stark the third when we was at a war party in 1945!" Howie was trippin out and so everyone forgot bout Bruce being green &amp; toreing the palace apart and so they took the blame.

They were toss in jail but it was a pretty 1 bc Howard sent them there and he is rich.

"omg how are we suppos to get back to the future if we're lock in a cell?" Thor asked Thor.

"U get 1 call!" Robocop holla at them and toss a cellphone.

Thor cryed "idk anyone in the past !" Robocop confuzzled bc he didnt no wat was going on ok?

But Nick calle the smartest ppl he know ant it wasnt a ppl it was a AI named Jarvis who was smarties like the sun that was so smarties it knew how to light itself fon fire all day and still b alive hangin out in the sky.

"Halllo" said the Jarvis bc it was british "Hallo Tony"

"Um dis isnt Tony motherfucker it's mother fuckin Nick Fuzy and ya better be freein me from this jail cause if you dont I wont let Tony put you in that mother fuckin body" He winked at Thor and Thor was all gaggles they snickered like lil bitches.

But the humor was short cuz the celing exploded and Robocop was like wtf u trying to escapees but they all three be in shock bc there was Jarvi in his vision awareness costume and Robocop run away and didnt unlock cell jail.

"OK" Nick was use to being boss "Wtf U be going round gettin stuff you aint even suppose to have yet!"

"Ummmm I think we might have done sumthang wrong" Thor worry so bad he sweaty."Wait Jarvis dont no isnt a body in the futurism" Ok Thor was frikkin out. "How yo know bout all this"

"OK Look Thor stfu &amp; stop askin questions OK?" Nick was grr

"U gays bought me to life when thor peddied on a unaborted baby and Howard crated me to protect him from yall villains!" Jarvis laffed like a psycopath and they shook until their skin fell off.

They hear the audience gigling and was like "ok U try being in this movie"

Suddanly the cell wall was blooming down and the inbearble hulk stood there in all his glory bc he didnt have spandex pants yet and Jarvis was stunned "Whoa golly he said britishly.

"ROAR HULK MAD HULK SMASH" Hulk was gallopin and trying to jump at the flying lil bitch AI but couldnt retch him and the ground was crackin up like a tortilla

"omfg Bruce chill the hell out man we gotta keep our cool" Thor was talkin all soft like a drug dealer and it was the kinda voice to make Bruce go all whites. wow thor really can calm someone down and Bruce was suddanly all nerd "Hi I am Brucey Banner I am a scientest" He introductory.

"Damnnn nigga, yall so strong man you bout took out that thingabob out of the skies" Nick was fascinated and Thor was like a little jeallouse.

But there was nothing impresive about bruce right now bc when he is not the hulk he is just a nerd with nothing to offer, not even sperm (oops spoiler). the hulk was his 5 star winning split personalty.

"OK it is nice to meat you. I think I ate something raw bc I keep turning green and my sperm are explodin inside my body." Brucie told them. Thor gagged but Nick been thru this hundreds of times with lots of superheroes even wolverine.

"Its OK U are c hanging...them gammarays really fucked with your skin yo, but things are gonnna be ok. U see in the future you are gonna use that curse of yours to slam the shit out of people, gonna be workin for the big guys" Nick struck a pose but they didnt get it and he said "ME I am the big guy lol duhh"

They lauffed and played some chess bc they were havin so much fun.

Hours later..."Ok look guys somethings not right we have to make Jarrvis a AI again cuz he's a AI in the futures" Thor said bc he wanted thangs to be right.

"I wonders waht changed it" Howard said

So they all went to the Stark tower that stood in New Yorkr City before the Avengers tower did and Thor felt the odd feeling you get like deja vu. For like five or seven seconds he thoght he was in a portal like in Thor 2 and was like trippin out. "JANE?"

"Whoa man she aint even taught of" Bruce nerded.

"We shood probbly kill her momma so she will never be so that she won't rape U thor" Nick was like the daddy figure of the team. They all nodded in agree ment "But first we fix this AI issue and we fix it right freakin now"

So they all stomp into the Stark tower and grred at the staff to scar them to peices. Hahahhaha they laughed and got in the elvetor and clucked in the lab floor numbers. The prettiest music play in the elevetor and Thor felt like a god bc it was so beautiful. Ok wait iam a god he thought and then the doors opened and they were labs.

"Wow I wish I had this labb" Bruce put on a lab coat and was not nudist anymore.

"WHO ARE YOU" A dumb lil kid (lol) named Tony Anthony Stark run over and stab Thor in the balls AHHHHHH it hurt. He was like 5 and didnt no it was his future hubby he be stabbing...love hurts look it up

"OMFG tie that duckling up!" Nick kicked lil Tony like he was dirt and Bruce tabkled him tying him up like a thug. Shit they fucked up again "Omg we are so fucking shit up so bad omg Tony gonna thank of us as villains now!"

They all cursed and Jarvis fly in and was angries! "Yall will pay...!"

To be continue...


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Srry for spoilers. smilies/icon_

Thor, Nicky, Bruce, TOny and Jarvis stood in a circle dramatic. The stare down was intense. Tony was still tied up in his high chair and Jarvis still look like one of those furry things except maybe the person was trying to be a snake bc he was red and purple lol. He had a itty bitty button in the middle of his foreheand that look like a belly button ring.

"Uh you know that goes down here" Bruce was a nerd and pat his stomach to explain but everyone roll there eyes bc it was not a belly button ring and Thor was like "That's a head pendant" They all so stupid for real tho

But Jarvis was not bc he was originally the worlds smartest AI system and could read 50 books in only seconds. "No U fools, that has was is been made from Loki's staff. Ur lil sissy!" He laughed at Thor and Thor was soooo mad omg.

"Freakin really!" Thor pick up his hammer and was bout to swing it &amp; everyone was bout to let him bc shit they fucked the past up anyways who gives a shit.

"STOPPP" Bruce cried out so they all stopped and Bruce put his hands ove TOnys eyes. "Ok now you can do it"

"Fools!" Jarvis growlithed, "I am from the futurees!"

"Wtf ever nigga, we kno damn well lil Tony here crated you, dumbas" Nick was pointing gun at the AI like it was a freakin hold up but Thor used his brain instead of his hair for once

"Um Tony cant crate that yet, he's still in kindergarten learning his abcs and 123s." Tor explanned remambering that humans learn in skool. Ahhhhhh they all said except for Jarvis and Tony.

Bruce loved kids even tho he got green and pickly sometimes "Have U said goodbye to the Jurassic yet, TOny?" it is a kindergarden graduation cermey song but Tony frickin bit him like a chihuahaha. And his hole nail came off his finger and it was like whoa

"holy motha fucka, why is Tony acting like a feral goat?" Nick ashed he was concerned bc the avengers were like his kiddos. "Isant anyone owning him?"

They all rememberh is dad is Howard lol oooh A+ parenting ok sure

Jarvis was ubber annoyed with the installation so he used his mind powers to shut them all up "Yes that little turd crated me OK hahahahha and he made me so smarties that I can time travel and I can also yes I made Rome in a day hahahha" He was amazing and they were all jealous.

"Ok so what arf you doing here?" Dick asked him and they all stared with their eyeballs "babysatting Tony?" it was the only thing he could thonk of bc Jarvis was always Tony's lil bitch. but no he was not!

"I am come back in time to laugh at yall cuz when you go back to the future I'm gonna turn yall into some biscuits and eat them with my KFC!" He was laughing so hard that he was spitting they were all grossed out. Jarvis must be relly smart bc he can eat and knows how to laugh att them...

Suddenly Jarvis disapeaked and they were all quiet and awkward and in a house that wasnt theres with a baby tied up in a high chair. "Ooooooooookay" Nick was the first and they all laugh becuz they are the avengers and who the fucks going to defeat them other than Kaitlyn Jennar herself... sorry fans.

They popped a binky in Tony's mouth and were out the door "I can't wait to marry her" Thor thought of Tony but he was too tiny to marry right now.

Next they decided to go look for baby Black Wido since she'd be a cute little baby in a frilly dress they decided to go to the park to look for her. They did llook a lil creepy but then they seen some1 they were not expacting and omg let me warn you this is f'ed up like

There he was, Seabastian Shawl in all his glory like he was naked. And he was bouncing some girl in a car in the park lot and it was freakin nasty this is a park jee wizz. So Nick got mad and nocked on there window and they call him a N word!

Thor was not havin this shit so he bust their windhseld in and was like "STOP" bc he has a kid and seen Tony as a kid and like kids and cares bout wellbeing. Sebastian was not a mutant yet and hump out of the car he was scarred to bits and peaches.

"Ahhhh!" he cried and Bruce got green and smushed him tothe cement it was outright boner kill "Ahhhh!" he cooed and they had no symapthy.

they was for sure that this would stop him from stealing the tessaract in the future but they were actually making it 100% more possumble.

and there was a awful twist, Thor's little time traveling screwdriver alarm went off and he took it out and it said "ALART: Beak Widow's birth has been alterred, bc her daddy not sperm her mom!"

"shit shit shit" Hulk greened everwhere but anywhere.

Nick &amp; Thor just was in shock. "Get in there and pop that cherry boy!" Nick was not going to lose his only superhero woman and was sending Thor in...and so Thor did...he was soon cheeting on his five ear old future wifey. but he was doing it so save a life. a good life like one of those annoying lil birds who chirp all the time and you wish you could get rid of it until it dies and u hear nothing. (women talk to much...)

He laid the egg inside her and the future was really changed bc he was now her daddy. He got out the car and the woman was like "Can I have Ur number plz?"

"fuck no!" he said and they left lol

"Guys can this be a super top secrat? plz" Thor asked bc he cared bout Tony and didnt think it wwood be right for Jane to know he was her dad and they all agreed and pinky swore bc um awkward? How wered would it be if Thor was Black Widows dad for real good thing this is a fanfiction.

Bruce being the science guy figged something out "Guys we just almost just stopped Natalia from existing whach Im glad we ddnt but..."he turned into a whisper "We coold stop Janes."

They all gasped at the magic and were whisperin in a park full of ppl. "OK we're gonna haveta jump to the future a few years and fuckin stab her mom for even thanking of havin that bitch" Nick Furried.

"OK" Thor pont his hammer in the sky and they all grab onto it like the planateers when they stand in a cirlce and point at the sky with their rings and were like "EARTH!" and telleeported to the future...


	5. Chapter 5

A/N been busy heres another chapter...

The three heros zappered thru time and space and landed so elegantly in the new next time listed which was the time that miss Jane Porter would be thought of. Thor exameed the map "omg but this says that Jane woldnt be spermed until three months from now" he told Nick bc Nick was the leader.

"Man look she was thought of today and that that" Nick holla

Nick was such a good good leader and he make them all smile they all walked over to a rv camp where rvs park at and this is where baby Kane was thought of. there was like sooo many trailer park boys standin around and some hillbillies smoking pot around a fire pit and Thor thought wow I'm glad i'm doing this and they stop in front of i kid you not the ugliest rv i have ever freakin seen. . lol omg it's ugly ok.

Bruce was green but no not in that hulk way "wow omg wow ugh gross" but Nick knock on the door anyway no one came so he did it again and

"Hold on a sec!" someone yelled and they all tried to be patient but looked like jehovah witnesses smiling like they was. "we shold have brought some pamplets" Nick whispeerd.

Bruce pulled out some dead roses and the door swung open at the same time and it was none other than Mistyke who is acted as by Jennfier Lawrence in the xmen movies. her eyes were on bruce and his eyes were on her eyes and it was very odd. have you ever wondered what it would be like if mistique being blue and bruce being green what it would be like if they had sex?

Nick &amp; Thor thought of that like so totally qucik and was like "ma'am we brought you one hell of a date and we thinks you need to dump your bf" Nick was like a blind date expert and deserved some totally rad sunglasses.

"Hold on a sec" like seriously is this gonna be her only line Thor thought but she go inside and they hear her like yelling at someone and something. "GTFO GTFO I hate u you scummy basterd!" sahe was really loud and out the door went a young and damn fine Magneto. He was not wrinkly and was soooo cute

but he seen Bruce and Thor and Nick and was super duper mad and knew they were not mutants becuz his best friend forever Charlie Xavier was a telepahth. "humans will die!" he cried and ran out and jumped in his car and vroomed off. he was still in his boxers too so Mystique toss his clothes out the door and was like hey sexy to Bruce.

Bruce looked a lil hesistant but Nick and Thor push him forward "go go go" and so he did...

Meanwhile Magneto was all upset n just in case you was wondering how days of duture past was set up he was upset bc of his affair of mystique being butured. "why why why" he cried on her picture they had even had a son named Petero together but decided to orphanage him out bc they were in that first class crap and had to make the movie. He go to the assasination clinic bc he is sooo sad.

"Hello how may we halp you" it was Buckey and he was behind a business desk typin away with his metal arm and it had a big red star on it. but it was cheesy bc it was muscular but fake but it was muscular

Magneto aka Erik was still tears so Bucky was like "OK look I AM busy so it's like stfu n tell me or gtfo" he meant business with a iron fist (lol)

Erik sobered up "This motha fucker show up at my gf rv and raped her!" he lied because he knew there was nothin he could do about a break up and Bucky got a call but put them on hold and was like Ok listen man I got somethin for you...

It got all shady and Bucky said "I'll totally kill that bastard for like 400000 or something" and Erik thought ok I can rob Charles he's rich and can't walk but he wasn't thinking because CHarles can read minds. but just incase U dont know Charles can't read minds right now becus of that shit him and Hank are pumpin lol they are on drugs right now.

"Yes I will pay yous" Magneto told him and took off to get the money

Meanwhile Bruce was gottin out of Raven's house (she told him her real name) and was all hot and sweaty. Nick and Thor waved thumbs up happily for him but he was like "Um no it's just hot in there u jerks" but at least Jane was goin to remain a not a thought. no one wanted to know what bruce and Mystique did so they did not ask.

"Ok" Thor took out the map and crossed out Janes name "we are not done we need to kill some more ppl and secure our futures...Wolvarine should be on his way to Charlees house righta now and we need to kill that motha fucka"

Bruce n Nick agrreed but Nick was like "Look we gotta be descreet bout it, Charles is a good man and he disabled we gotta do this outside witout him washing" They all agreed and then remembereed Hank. "Oh ya Hank..."

What would they do wqith Hank? Any Ideas?


	6. Chapter 6

it was the day of god which is by the way a sunday. And Hank and Charles were spending a avertage day sitting around pumping each otter up with some good stuff. it was like they were was almost like anti mutant or something bc the stuffs was taking away their powers.

"it feels so nice to not pow-wow" Charles was higher than a kite and didnt look the same as when thor and his friends had seen him before when they went to his muttees for help. He had long ugly hair and the worst beard ever. shaaave pls!

"U look like a pedofiler" Hank said but they both laughed bc they were so high and it was so funny they loved their needles and all the other mutants had ditched them bc like wtf? They werer not expecting Magneto n they were not expecting Wolvertines and they were not expecting Thor n Nick n Bruce and they were not expecting Bucky either but mostly bc i don't think he should be there enyway no party invite.

"Knock knock" Logan yell he was smoking a cigar and was holdin it with his teddy claws. "Lemme IN" omfg act drunk Hank told Charles &amp; so he left the stadium. Hank open the door kinda embarassed cuz of all the weed growin on the side of the mansion because of all the naughtys the two had been up to. "UM hello" he said like in the script of days of future past

"i was wonderin if I could get a diplomama" Logan lie even tho he was in was back in time or something lol idfk

Hank was like nope we're closed but Logan stabbed him with his wolverpaws! bc he was evil! Ahhhhh Hank yell and tiptoed to his death. "I know yall in hera!" Wolverine was blues-cluesin for the telepath but almost left because he didnt feel iny mind intruders in his mind and asummed that Charles was snot here there.

but like he turniped around and was face to face with magnets that magento was about to magnet him with AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH he was so scared his recently filed claws almost fell out but they didnt because they couldnt because well long back story go read some comics or watch a fuckin movie.

"Wat do you are here!" Magneto holla out of anger and the commentary told the fans this is why he was upvvoted for predisdency with all his power and glory. he was a hero kind of. But he was so old when gandalf acted as him :(

Logan sputtered liek a cow and was "Well U see" and Magneto shot magents into his eyes and was like hahahahahahaha yes I see so Wolverine was blind and Charles come runnin down the stairs and was still a freakin sissy just like he was in First bass. "Erik nooooooooooooo"

Magneto was conflicted he felt like he was chosin between a orange and a pear but he really really wanted the orange but charles was holding him back and making him ate a pear. he bit out of a apple instead and charles was so mad he was red like a tomato.

"I HATE TOMATOS" Erik was up for a fight as always and Charles was like "wtf does it take to get you not to come in my house and kill and blind all these ennocent mutants" He cried &amp; almost drowned in his tears loookin so sadly at Logan and Hank thankin Erik did all this but lol Erik wouldnt kill mutants he hates human beans. BUT Charles can't read minds rite now

So ERrik told him the amont and he wrote him a check and Magento was out the door and even mop his mess up to be nice. Logan got stuck in the skull of mutants bc he was blinded and Professor X would have to help him control it...changing the future once again...

Magneto got in his smart car and send Bucky a text that said hi my boo i got u your money smoochie smoochie

the funds were transfunded and the deal was sealed. Magneto had sold his soul to Bucky's lil bitty heart

the was a knock knock on his widow and it was Thor he rolled down the window and was like "look here motha fucker you fuckin freakin letting your man just jizz all over my blue porcelein girl friend like she's some kinda KINDA prossistuteu!" Magneto was a mess of magnets scittered all over a white fridge and the letters spelled out broken

Thor look at Nick and Bruce and shrug they both sign language to just forgat bout him and scidaddle right over to Charles house but thor misread the print and "Um look Magreto i'm from the futuree"

"Wat the fack" Erik cooed and Thor continued "And yall are a good president but we has to stop U from breeding becuz Mystike and you have a ugly baby name Jane who..."Thor thunk of the first lie he coulda "freakin murder you or somethin"

"omfg" Magneto was explicit but understood kind of i think? maybe? because he's not telepathicc anymore idk if he really utterstands but maybe he does? idk well does he?

Bruce look at Nick and nicky looked at bruce and they shared some shrugs. Magneto put his car in park and they all smoled bc they see the change in his beating heart but then he was thinking outloud and put the car back into drive and HIT THOR with it omg he was so freakin evil but so metal at the same time he then back up and drove over him again and kept going "haha mother fuckerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr" and drove off laughin and listening to some justine beiber, he put on some sunglasses and pull down his sun roof. no one fucks his women.

"Thor!" Bruce run to his side and was all kinds of green with emotions unlisted and Nick was lookin at his life insurance and will. "Arrent you OK?"

Thor relly was ok because he was god but liked the attention "i'm relly hurt but a bj wood help lol" Bruce smack him all mad and turn green but Nick smack him and he dissolved "Ssorry"

"Guys...Magneto left a note" It was all folded up like teenage girls fold them in high school and had a pink ribbon round it, they open it and gasp. Bruces face was on a assassiinateion paper and he looked really ubber cute and the note said Buckey get yo

"But y would Steveys ex bestie for lifey killa me" Bruce was shell shock

they didn't know but they new they had to hide...


End file.
